Happy Holidays, ya filthy animals!
So I took a break from this for an extended period. Despite the good that I feel from this, it is always helpful to take a step back and recalibrate and center oneself from time to time. I also hope you found some time to take care of yourself this past holiday season. Now, as we turn into this new decade renewed with resolutions, goals, and certain aspirations I want you to look deep within your heart.
What needs to heal within you? How are you stopping your journey of growth? Perhaps you aren’t certain as to what is blocking your path. That is perfectly fine, you are human after all. I find that the best exercise to figuring out where you need to grow is being truthful to yourself of what your greatest fears are.
Write down your fears.
Leave out the fear of spiders, or heights, or even a fear of fireworks (one of mine…no, not the large fireworks shot off boats, more so those freaking roman candles and etc.)
Do you have your fears written down? Great, look at your fears one by one and imagine what your life would look like on the other side of that fear. Notice I did not say that I want you to conquer your fear. No, contrary to that belief, I want you to accept your fear. Acknowledge that this fear resides exclusively within your mind and that its function is to keep you comfortable in the world you are in now.
A great fear of mine that I didn’t quite acknowledge as such was my fear, my being terrified, of romantic commitment. Mainly, I never really understood or recognized where its genesis in my life. I just knew I wanted no part in this level of commitment due to this innate fear. Why? Truthfully, it is because I wrongfully understood for so long that despite whatever greatness my love could afford it would not ever be enough to keep someone around. So, why even commit to being vulnerable to another person? Why would I dare to confide and trust in another person to hold my being, my burden, my broken sense of love? These are the question my fear taught me to ask. Fear taught me to ask these questions because they are self-fulfilling, these questions kept my status quo in place.
So, what are we to do with this fear? How might we become greater in our acknowledgment of their existence?
We become greater by recognizing our courage and what that courage is within us.
Courage is no more than taking our fear and walking with it, holding its hand and showing it that there is truly nothing to fear – only fear itself. Once we begin to walk with our fear and exercise our courage, we begin to grow. Finally, as we grow, our wounds truly begin to heal.
Before I leave you be to venture off into this new decade, I would like to leave you with three things: two playlists and a line from The Watchmen on HBO that really resonated with me.
“You can’t heal under a mask, Angela. Wounds need air.”
Give your wounds, your fear, the air they need to heal. Recognize that courage is you walking with your fear headlong into the light of day. Don’t be afraid to feel the weight of your emotions. Cry when you are sad. Smile and laugh when you are happy. Feel the totality of the human experience, face your fear, and choose courage and hope, always. This is what it means to heal.
- Joshua